There’s been months, or years, of planning. And now it’s over and your wedding day is a memory—what’s next?
There are some things you should expect after a wedding. And it’s not all butterflies and rainbows—there can be some sadness and feeling a bit blah.
The Day After Your Wedding
The post-match function has become a must-do for many families, especially if you have guests that have come a long way. On the wedding day itself, time is scarce, and you won’t have hung out with your guests as much as you’d like. If you’re not rushing off on honeymoon, today is about chilled out vibes, hanging out with your friends and family, and thanking everyone for all their help in making your day as amazing as it was (like a bridesmaid gift, if you didn’t give it on the day).
- Around more logistical things, rental companies will be picking up their items, you’ll be tidying up your house which will be in shambles, and thinking, what the heck did I do with the marriage certificate?
- If you got loads of presents, open them all and catalogue them so you know who gave you which item, vital for those thankyou cards later.
- If you have a site where you want guests to upload images, send out a message and remind everyone today. They will have been too busy on the day of the wedding, and they’ll forget if you leave it much longer.
As much as possible, relax and enjoy the magic of no wedding stress or worries! The day after your wedding has a celebratory vibe, people are happy and excited (and maybe hungover), and you’ll have that post-wedding glow.
The Week After Your Wedding
If you’re not on honeymoon immediately, this week can be a bit weird. You’re still in that happy post-wedding phase, you’ve got loads to sort out, unpack, tidy, and organise. You’re desperate to see your wedding photos, but typically that takes one to three months to come back (and your photographer should tell you about timeframes).
You need to sort out:
- Suits need to be returned to the rental company, or cleaned
- Bride’s dress needs to be cleaned and stored
- Bridesmaid dresses to be returned to rental company
- All rented or borrowed items to be returned
- Ensure all vendors are paid
- If you’re keeping some cake in the freezer or getting your bouquet dried, the time to act is immediately
If you’re not off on your honeymoon (about 77% of couples go in the week after the wedding) then you might even be back at work this week. You’ll feel adrift, maybe a bit of a slump, because nothing has changed, yet everything has. Much to your boss’s relief, now you can spend your days working, not wedding planning.
The Month After Your Wedding
This is where you’ll definitely feel some kind of post-wedding slump or depression. For months, you’ve been planning, researching, anticipating, and getting excited about your wedding day. It’s been your focus for a long time and now it’s over. Friends and relatives resume their lives, and it’s back to your daily grind. It is exciting to refer to your spouse as your husband or wife though!
You might wonder why you’re not feeling joyful, or why you’re feeling bad. It’s a combination of:
- Lack of attention (although introverts may be very glad it’s over)
- For most couples, they were already living together before the marriage, and it’s straight back to the same life, same arguments, and nothing has changed
- The lack of something to plan for and look forward to
- Tiredness after some hectic wedding planning and execution
- People asking you when you’re having kids. They start the day of your wedding and it won’t stop until you’re in your 40’s. It’s annoying and can be a downer.
Acknowledge those feelings, whatever they are. It’s ok to feel a bit blah. Chat to someone about it (you’ve got a spouse now!), and maybe start planning the next thing in your life. A house? Holiday? Baby? Even as far as a year or two out, you can start anticipating the next exciting thing in your life.
Thank Your Vendors
The best thing you can do is leave lovely reviews for your vendors. Google or Facebook are probably best, and you only need to leave a quick comment on how wonderful they were. The cake baker, the caterer, the venue, marriage celebrant, florist, bridesmaid dress or suit retailer, wedding dress designer/ shop, and anyone else who helped make your day amazing.
Sort out Wedding Décor
If you purchased or made things for your wedding, you’re going to have a pile of things to organise. Candles, table decorations, decorations. Sell them on TradeMe, give them away, or decorate your house with 15 identical vases, whatever makes you happy.
The Year After the Wedding
Thank You Notes
Generally speaking, thank you cards should be sent within three months of the wedding. That gives you time to beg your photographer for one sneaky photo, print it on a card, and thank everyone who came to the wedding or contributed in some way.
Change Your Name
If you want to change your name in NZ, it’s a simple process but it takes time. Remember to book all flight tickets in your old name until you’ve had time to update your passport. Over the next few months, slowly change your name on everything.
Get Your Photos and Video from The Photographer and Videographer
Depending on how busy their s and Video from The Photographer and Videographerwedding season was, wedding photos typically take one to three months to get back. It takes time to go through thousands of images, choose the best ones, and edit and tidy them up. Once they are back, it’s time to share your beautiful images with everyone and get a burst of happy wedding endorphins again! Also, if you don’t arrange an album now, it will never happen.
Keep Your Love Alive
This is the most important task, and it determines your future happiness and marriage success. Being married is hard work. Especially after having a child, you will, at times, loathe the person you married (and this is normal). But how can you keep the love everlasting?
- Have dates still
- Have fun together. What did you do together that was fun when you were dating?
- Communicate. Chat about life.
- Find time for each other
A marriage should be a confetti of good things. Whether it’s doing chores equally, cooking for each other, hugs, kind words, or small gifts, find a way to love your spouse and do it a lot.
